The more free from sin and the more sanctified God makes me, the more I recognize how pollutedly weak my self, still bound by a sin nature, actually is. I am continually awestruck and overtly grateful for the reconciliation God has made with me. Though in my mind I am aware of my positional sanctification, I am humbled by the knowledge of my actual state of holiness which is a lack there of. I might seem to be holy for a time until I inevitably give in to sin. It might just be a minor slip, but the more I grow in Christ, the more difficult to bear the minor slips become. My unrighteous anger which well up in me is often unrighteously exhausted on others (I become agitated when I am corrected or controlled). The more I grow in Christ the less the anger seems to well up in me and the less it affects others. However, it is still there and I ask the same question the apostle Paul asked: Why do I do what I don’t want to do?
My question is this: “How can I lose my disgusting pride?” How can I keep from not only exhausting my anger on others, but also, keep it from welling up in me when my pride is thwarted. I can’t seem to shake it, no matter how much I desire to do so. I know the answer of course lies in Christ. This seems simplistic. However, all of my efforts in the process of putting to death the sinful habits stem from a true love for the Only Wise God. He is the One who has made it possible for me to come before Himself. He has laid the foundation and I somehow must throw myself at His mercy. As a result of starting with an attitude of humility and gratefulness for what God has done, I will be moved to give Him glory. This means I will want to obey Him and will be convicted of the sinfullness that so entangles me. I will therefore confess unrighteousness to Him and commit to change. Then, I must trust that God in His faithfulness and by His power will indeed change me. It is critical to remember that this change, though effected by God, is done so through my active role of cooperation. I must strategically fight the good fight. In my case of pride, I must have a strategy to replace my unrighteousness with righteousness. That is, whenever I am tempted to act angrily or my heart begins to fight against authority over me, I must replace it with a spirit of humility, kindness, gentleness, patience, and forbearance. I must ask God to give me strength to act accordingly in the difficult situtations. Furthermore, I must be willing to practice godliness continually. I must constantly practice repentance and reconciliation. This discipline, however, will only be fruitful if I am truly and genuinely motivated by love for Him and those I have offended. Finally, I must continually remind myself that because God is at my side through it all, I may stumble but I will not fall.
Fear not for I am with you says the Lord- I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, child you are Mine, when you walk through the valley I will be there and through the flames, no you’ll not go down says the Lord.